A close friend of mine gisted me about his trip to Ibadan recently. It was so hilarious, I decided to share it with you. Enjoy:
Deshile was very eager to attend his best friend's dad's thanksgiving ceremony. It was gonna start in the morning and finish by 2pm. He set out very early at around 7:15am to beat the traffic on the Lagos-Ibadan expressway. As luck will have it, he was on the express by 8:40am. Afraid of arriving late, he sped like a smuggler running from the police. He was soon to realize that his luck would run out. When last did you travel on the express? Quite recently? If not, let me acquaint you with "Deshile's Guide to : A Safe and Stress Free Journey On The Express"
-Set out early
-Check your tires, engine, petrol tank, etc
-Pack enough food and drink for yourself and use the washroom before you set out
-Pray to God for journey mercies - YOU WILL NEED IT
Anyway, Shile's car was about to disappoint him. The traffic was very bad and the air conditioner in his car stopped working. To make matters worse, his car started overheating and suddenly (mysteriously like he told me) developed a flat tire; so he had to stop. After receiving a lot of insults and curses to screw his generations from other drivers, he succeeded in begging some okada riders to push his car to the side of the road. To make matters worse, the sky decided at that very moment, to release the mother of all storms. So yeah, his car cooled down, but the traffic went from bad to worse. The bad roads didnt help. Deshile, a respectable banker - cool and calm no matter the situation, joined the other frustrated drivers in cursing, swearing and screeching in the heavy rain.
5hrs later and drenched in rain, sweat and dust, Deshile got to Ibadan. He checked in at a Hotel, quickly showered and dressed up. Without resting, he set out to the venue of the ceremony. On his way, Shile saw a strange sight. A Cow was strolling on the main road. He tried to overtake it, but the mindless Cow seemed to enjoy its leisurely stroll and ignored him. Okada riders rode past the it and pedestrians went on their way without looking twice at the huge cow blocking the road. Now another person might act differently given the circumstance, but for someone coming from a bad (semi static) traffic on the express, and already late to an important event only to be slowed down by a cow was too much for Shile. He hooted several times and shouted abuses at the cow. A woman in a car on the other lane, tried pacifying Shile and told him to take it easy. A Keke Maruwa rider who was laughing hard, also attempted to calm the infuriated Shile. The cow in question probably decided to have mercy on Shile; it crossed the road to a street nearby.
After taking many wrong turns, he decided to call his friend to confirm the location of the event, forgetting that unlike Lagos, the signals in Ibadan can be disappointing to say the least.
A few minutes later, he got signal on his phone and hurriedly dialed his friend who gave him the right address. With the help of an Okada rider, he got to the venue. Deshile entered the hall and was warmly greeted by his friend and directed towards a seat in front. Just as a waiter served him cold drinks, his friend was called up to the podium to give the vote of thanks.
Deshile was very eager to attend his best friend's dad's thanksgiving ceremony. It was gonna start in the morning and finish by 2pm. He set out very early at around 7:15am to beat the traffic on the Lagos-Ibadan expressway. As luck will have it, he was on the express by 8:40am. Afraid of arriving late, he sped like a smuggler running from the police. He was soon to realize that his luck would run out. When last did you travel on the express? Quite recently? If not, let me acquaint you with "Deshile's Guide to : A Safe and Stress Free Journey On The Express"
-Set out early
-Check your tires, engine, petrol tank, etc
-Pack enough food and drink for yourself and use the washroom before you set out
-Pray to God for journey mercies - YOU WILL NEED IT
Anyway, Shile's car was about to disappoint him. The traffic was very bad and the air conditioner in his car stopped working. To make matters worse, his car started overheating and suddenly (mysteriously like he told me) developed a flat tire; so he had to stop. After receiving a lot of insults and curses to screw his generations from other drivers, he succeeded in begging some okada riders to push his car to the side of the road. To make matters worse, the sky decided at that very moment, to release the mother of all storms. So yeah, his car cooled down, but the traffic went from bad to worse. The bad roads didnt help. Deshile, a respectable banker - cool and calm no matter the situation, joined the other frustrated drivers in cursing, swearing and screeching in the heavy rain.
5hrs later and drenched in rain, sweat and dust, Deshile got to Ibadan. He checked in at a Hotel, quickly showered and dressed up. Without resting, he set out to the venue of the ceremony. On his way, Shile saw a strange sight. A Cow was strolling on the main road. He tried to overtake it, but the mindless Cow seemed to enjoy its leisurely stroll and ignored him. Okada riders rode past the it and pedestrians went on their way without looking twice at the huge cow blocking the road. Now another person might act differently given the circumstance, but for someone coming from a bad (semi static) traffic on the express, and already late to an important event only to be slowed down by a cow was too much for Shile. He hooted several times and shouted abuses at the cow. A woman in a car on the other lane, tried pacifying Shile and told him to take it easy. A Keke Maruwa rider who was laughing hard, also attempted to calm the infuriated Shile. The cow in question probably decided to have mercy on Shile; it crossed the road to a street nearby.
After taking many wrong turns, he decided to call his friend to confirm the location of the event, forgetting that unlike Lagos, the signals in Ibadan can be disappointing to say the least.
A few minutes later, he got signal on his phone and hurriedly dialed his friend who gave him the right address. With the help of an Okada rider, he got to the venue. Deshile entered the hall and was warmly greeted by his friend and directed towards a seat in front. Just as a waiter served him cold drinks, his friend was called up to the podium to give the vote of thanks.
that's so funny. what a situation.
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